14
Nov 10
Special Thanks – A letter from Mom & Dad
Special Thanks,
During Kevin’s arrival and departure from this life, we have experienced overwhelming joy, and unbearable sadness. New hopes and dreams, and then seeing those dreams dashed to pieces. His arrival was early, swift, and unexpected; his death just as much so.
Kevin came to us on his own schedule in every way imaginable. Mom and Dad were actively and persistently trying to not have more kids. When we found out that he was coming the single biggest question was “What Happened??”
In the months before Mom found out she was expecting, she had a series of dreams where three small children came to tell her that they were ready to come to this earth. In case you were not aware, the veil is thin for Fawn. She told them that they needed to change their plans because she had her own plans. In early February, Dad had a dream where a little boy came and said that mom was not listening to him and that he was ready to come to earth now. He also said what his name was. A few days later we found out that mom was already expecting. This was the first lesson that we got in Kevin’s timing not working with other people’s plans.
Throughout the time that mom was expecting, there were numerous things that happened that just reinforced the fact that mom and dad were not the ones in control of this baby, and that Father in Heaven and the baby really were the ones running the show. When mom was 28 weeks along Kevin started threatening to come. Threatening a lot! Over the next several weeks through the efforts of mom and her team of herbalists, therapists, and doctors, he stayed in until he was barely 2 weeks early.
Once the date came that the doctors were no longer worried that he would come too early, they scheduled a date for mom to be induced and have the baby, that was the 29th, and the delivery was scheduled for the 5th of November. Kevin apparently had other ideas and at 4 in the morning on the 30th, mom’s water broke. Since she was fed up with doctors by this point, she did not want to go to the hospital, and decided instead that she needed a shower and to do her hair. Dad finally convinced her to go and she arrived at the hospital at just past 5 in the morning. Kevin was born without any complications by 5:40, and by 6, a totally un-medicated mom and baby were safely cuddling with all of the hospital staff cleaned up and out of the room.
Like, I said, his arrival was early, swift, and unexpected.
In the short time that Kevin was here, he was able to touch many lives. His family loved him dearly and will miss him terribly. Kevin got to go with mom and Dad to work, and was able to meet some of you there. His bright eyes were very expressive, and you could tell that when he looked at you; you could tell that he was looking directly at you and trying to figure things out. He was holding his head up on his own right after birth just like his siblings did; and when he was just a few days old, he would lie on his tummy and lift his head and turn it to look the other way. On Monday the 8th, the day before he died, he was laying between mom and dad on their bed while they talked, and he rolled over by himself to lie next to his mom. I guess that there are some things that we will not understand and how he did that is just one of them.
After hemming and hawing over his name and what Dad remembered from his dream visit several months earlier, it finally took his grandma coming to let Mom and Dad know that they really did have it right. Today, Kevin is going to be buried with his grandma. For some reason they already have a strong bond, and we are sure that they have some interesting things to do together in the months and years ahead.
The name Kevin is an old name of Gaelic origin which means “beautiful at birth” it is also the name of his grandpa. We wondered a lot about whether a name that means “beautiful at birth” would be appropriate for a young boy or a grown man, but with it being the name of his grandpa, we figured that it would be alright. Grandma’s insistence clinched it. Now that we see his short life looking back, it just gives us one more thing to wonder about, and what if anything we could have foreseen about this. This does reinforce our belief though that there are some things that we really should not know in this life; but that father in Heaven, the angels and our family on the other side really do have a pretty good idea of the great grand plan for each of our lives.
This last Tuesday morning, Kevin woke up to eat at 4:30 in the morning. When dad moved his brother Caleb back to his own bed at 6, be was cuddled safely in moms arms. At 8, Dad moved him away from mom’s side so that she had room to roll over. When Dad woke mom up at about 25 after 8, he noticed there was a bloodstain on the bed where Kevin had been, and then noticed that he was purple. Mom immediately started CPR and Dad called 911. Within 3 minutes, they were there and treating him. They transported him to the hospital, and after doing all that they could, they let us know that they had done all they could, but to no avail.
Kevin came to us quickly and left just as quickly. When we found out he was coming, we asked ourselves somewhat in jest, “How could this happen?” Since he left us, we have been asking ourselves, those around us, and anybody else that may be listening “How could this happen?” We still do not know why he died. Unfortunately the information that we have is very limited. The preliminary results from the medical examiner have been totally inconclusive, and have only said that he was totally healthy when he died, and that they do not believe that he suffocated. This just raises more questions than answers and leaves us without much to go on.
It is in times like this that we can cling to our faith and to our knowledge of the Gospel. Mom and Dad have the extra special gift that they get to see grandma from time to time, and we are sure that he will come and visit us as well. With that in mind however we are going to say this: it is not Grandma’s fault that he died; but for now, we are going to blame her anyway.
This time that we have been able to spend with Kevin had been wonderful. He has meant so much to us and he will be sorely missed. All three of his siblings have missed him and will continue to miss him as time passes. In time healing will come, and in time answers will be made known. In the meanwhile, it is as if tossed about on a stormy sea without rudder or sail.
During this joyful and sorrowful time we have not been alone by any means. Many of you that Kevin touched have also touched us, and for that we are grateful. There have been outpourings of love, comfort, joy, congratulations, and condolences. There have been times of Laughter and tears, prayers of rejoicing and of sorrow. When the preacher Ecclesiastes said that there was a time and a season for all things, I guess I figured that they would not all run together all at once; but since there is a time for all things, apparently there is a time for all the times and seasons to be as one.
During these times it has been important for Mom and Dad to keep some sense of normalcy and routine, and so we have continued to work and do those things that need to be done, but right now it seems as if it is more out of routine than the normal level of ambition. We have been told that in time, things will return to the way they were for most part, and that in the meanwhile, it is just one day at a time. We will be better for this experience once we heal from it, and Kevin will forever after be a part of our family and what we think and do. So we will continue to press on, and work things through, so please forgive us if we forget something, or things fall through the cracks more than normal. In time, healing happens, families that were torn apart come back together, broken hearts are mended and old wounds are soothed and healed, and we become better people through our trials and difficult times.
Kevin we will miss you terribly, and at the same time we will remember that you are not at all far from us. Just like your Grandma you will come to visit and we will learn to recognize you when you come. We will see those things that you arrange so carefully for us in the spirit world with your greater vision, yet sometimes like now we may not understand the whole picture that you and Grandma, and Jesus see. And we will watch and wonder and marvel and pray; and in time we too will each join you and remember the great design that was laid out for each of our lives. When we see that we will remember this day and be grateful that we got to see a tiny glimpse of a perfect soul, come to remind each of us of our true destiny. Thank you for that gift.
